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Copyright 2019-2022, Randy Strauss- you're welcome to copy any that you apply to yourself.

My Privileges

When I thought about my good and bad times, I mostly focused on my hardships and short-comings, so it was new to list my privileges.

I read about privileges before listing them. This first set is written by me, but probably most of the ideas came from others' examples. I think in this case, rather than "plagiarism", it's group effort...

My parents were poor, arriving in America in 1938 when Dad was turning 12 and Mom was 8. Dad did well in school- being male and white, he was encouraged. He then joined the Navy as WWII was ending, and was trained as an electrician. After he served, the G.I. Bill put him through college, getting an EE degree, with an extra stipend to help take care of his family. While NY City schools were free, without the G.I. Bill, he would have had to work full-time to take care of his parents. The G.I. Bill continued while he got a masters in EE. Right out of college, he had an offer for a good job at Boeing.

It pains me that blacks were systematically denied GI Bill benefits. Minorities that managed to afford college without the GI Bill were often denied jobs afterwards.

My father's success set me up to have a trouble-free education in a (white) middle-class neighborhood with decent public schools, with an affordable tennis and swim club close by. My mom joined the PTA and her involvement working for desegregation opened my eyes (a little) to the racial disparities in Seattle.

Late in high school, in the mid 1970's, a neighbor was selling her house. First, she talked to neighbors asking whether it'd be okay if she sold her house to a black family. My mom was furious that this kind of prejudice existed in our own neighborhood. Her words to the woman were disapproving, but certainly not furious, consistent with her polite upbringing. Once inside, she seethed.

I had some awareness of racism from the civil rights era- I was 8 in 1965. But just a little. I knew slavery had been bad, but had never dwelled on how horrible it was. I knew there were lynchings and cross burnings, but didn't know how common and contemporary they were, or the terror that most blacks experienced at times.

In high school and college, I learned the details of the horrors of the Holocaust. While I knew some of the horrors of slavery, it wasn't till years later that I realized it was often as bad, lasted for hundreds of years, and much of the horrors lasted till the civil rights era. And some of them beyond.

I was curious to view my lack of horrors as privileges. It helped to list them.

  1. Growing up, I had the privilege of never needing to think about my race or color.
  2. It continued as an adult. I had the privilege of being a person, not a person of a certain race.
  3. I grew up in a stable home environment with a stay-at-home mom
  4. I grew up middle class, then during/after high school, upper-middle class
  5. My parents could always afford sufficient, healthy food.
  6. My father was respected and promoted at work- we could always afford 2 cars. When I was a teen, we could afford skiing and a small waterski boat.
  7. We had plenty of books. Before first grade, Mom or Dad would read to us every night.
  8. I was able to pick up reading by kindergarten.
  9. I didn't read much on my own in elementary school, but no one ever criticized me for it.
  10. My mom had a nice typewriter she no longer used, so in the summer of 11th grade, I easily borrowed it to write a journal and learned to type.
  11. I had no mental or physical handicaps to overcome.
  12. Both of my parents were college educated
  13. My parents fully expected my 3 brothers and I would go to college (we did)
  14. Society mostly welcomed people who looked like us.
  15. We always had stable housing
  16. We always had reliable transportation
  17. We were always financially secure
  18. Almost always had savings
  19. White-people don't fear or look down on people of my color.
  20. My parents didn't have to warn me not to attract attention due to my race.
  21. There was no stress of danger if stopped by police while driving.
  22. I could walk anywhere without fear of being stopped by police.
  23. I could stop strangers and ask a question without fear of their reaction.
  24. Male- I can walk around at night with very little chance of being attacked.
  25. After childhood, I was able-bodied, reasonably strong
  26. Before age 50, I always had excellent vision, not needing glasses.
  27. I was close enough to neuro-typical that I needed no special education.
  28. My natural mental skills, verbal, math and science, fit pretty well in schools.
  29. I was naturally good at tests.
  30. Teachers spoke similarly to me- until college, all teachers speaking seemed clear to me, and mine seemed clear to them.
  31. My 1-year-older brother was a good student so teachers automatically thought well of me.
  32. Teachers and school staff saw me as cooperative and belonging, so I was appreciated, not feared.
  33. The nice neighborhood I lived in was three miles from the University of Washington, so I could bike home easily.
  34. My cooperative personality came naturally- independent (confrontative) ideas didn't begin till after high school, so I had no confrontations with the establishment.
  35. My high school was one of the best in the city, where exceptional teachers were happy to work.
  36. I didn't work at being smart or likeable, yet I was rewarded with an exceptionally effective high school teacher referral which (unknown to me at the time) ensured I was accepted into Stanford (twice).
  37. As a kid (and always), people seemed happy to hire me. As a kid I mowed lawns, deliver papers, and later work in stores, a factory, and painted houses.
  38. Neighbors and customers always trusted me.
  39. Employers and customers were very tolerant about mistakes.
  40. My father earned enough that I could save all the money I earned from my jobs.
  41. When I transferred to Stanford, my savings paid for most of the costs.
  42. My father could afford to pay the final year of the Stanford tuition.
  43. When I stayed for a masters, I worked half time for the department and they paid me tuition and a stipend.
  44. I never had student loan debt
  45. I have plentiful access to clean drinking water.
  46. I am well nourished, able to easily afford good food.
  47. Good, healthy food is offered in many stores near my home.
  48. Real estate agents, banks and home sellers were eager to help me buy a home. Neighbors were welcoming.
  49. Banks and insurance companies give me their best rates.
  50. Credit card companies want to extend credit to me.
  51. I can buy any car I want, with no worries that it will arouse suspicion. I don't need to choose an interior color that makes it easier to see inside, or look less luxurious.
  52. I can visit any city in America, or drive across country, and not worry about my safety.
  53. I am a documented citizen of the country I live in
  54. I am a native English speaker- most people in power think I speak clearly
  55. I am cisgender- no one seems uncomfortable or inquisitive about my gender
  56. I am straight- no one seems uncomfortable or inquisitive about my sex life
  57. I am married- no one is worried that I'm lonely or unsupported.
  58. Being male, I don't have to worry about being hit on, pinched or grabbed by others.
  59. Being male- I experience less fatigue than females during zoom meetings
  60. I'm 1-2 inches taller than average, so wasn't looked down at after 10th grade. I never had shortness concerns and my height was attractive to some girls.
  61. I was a little chubby when young, but not enough for people to comment, or perhaps even notice.
  62. While I put effort into not gaining weight since my 40's, it was never too difficult.
  63. When I met a girlfriend's friends or family, I never worried that they'd be prejudiced against my race, color, accent, family, or my personal history.
  64. While I was rarely athletic, I naturally enjoy walking and light exercise.
  65. Doctors treat me mostly kindly and approvingly, taking most of my concerns seriously.
  66. After childhood, I had no significant physical impairments to hold me back or worry me.
  67. I was a bit muscular since 11th grade- no one ever doubted I could try a sport
  68. I am about average in attractiveness- not unattractive.
  69. I was never in trouble with the law, nor ever had to worry about being stopped by police
  70. I was treated respectfully by police during traffic stops (every 10'ish years)
  71. I am not prone to alcoholism or drug addiction
  72. When I tried drugs, no one thought much of it, nor that it was due to my race
  73. Everyone in my family was peaceful- I never feared for my safety
  74. My parents were always reasonable with me, seemingly trusting, never worrying.
  75. Two of my brothers had problems as adolescents- people had faith they'd turn out ok
  76. One ran into a bit of trouble with the law and was treated very well
  77. After my college years, my parents were mildly wealthy, and generous to my brothers and myself
  78. I have an excellent credit rating
  79. I can occasionally miss payments on bills without it hurting my credit rating
  80. Occasionally when I've ignored or missed bills, and once when pursued by a debt collector- there was no harm to my credit rating.
  81. I've been very employable, viewed as needed and hard to replace at work
  82. Having "Stanford" on my resume made it easier to get interviews
  83. My employment allowed me to buy a house and provide for my family and children, even in the expensive S.F. Bay Area.
  84. My employment has allowed me to stay tech-savvy.
  85. I've been able to save for a modest retirement.
  86. I can find a job at a company where people of my race and (apparent) religion are thought well of
  87. I can turn on the TV, open a newspaper or magazine and see people of my race widely represented.
  88. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, poverty, or illiteracy of my race.
  89. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race or sex.
  90. Most people seem to think well of my apparent ethnic background.
  91. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven’t been singled out because of my race
  92. No one would deny me renting or purchasing a house in an area I can afford and would want to live.
  93. I never felt the need to spend my time changing laws or practices that discriminated against people like me.
  94. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be pleasant to me, or at least neutral
  95. The history taught in our schools is mostly about people who look like me.
  96. I can be pretty sure that in a group in which I am the only member of my race, my voice will be heard.
  97. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another person's voice in a group in which s/he is the only member of his/her race
  98. I can go into stores and count on finding products that fit me, culturally
  99. I can go into a hairdresser's shop and easily find someone who can cut my hair
  100. My skin color doesn't raise questions about whether I'm financially reliable
  101. I can ride in Uber or Lyft or public transportations without people hitting on me, commenting on my looks or touching me inappropriately
  102. I never needed to protect my children from people who might not like them.
  103. I did not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.
  104. When my kids challenged authority in school, I could be certain it was just about behavior, not race
  105. If one of my kids stole a candy bar from a nearby store, the owner would probably call me and accept an apology, or the police would bring him home or call me without threatening arrest
  106. If I bring up my thoughts about race, people listen respectfully.
  107. I can walk at night alone safely in my neighborhood, and in most neighborhoods
  108. I can run in public safely, any time, day or night. No one will consider me a threat or an invader.
  109. I can run at night in dimly lit areas safely, even in a t-shirt or hoodie, without being under suspecion.
  110. I can walk behind any woman without being suspect. I can even walk briskly, overtaking her, without arousing suspicion.
  111. If the police stop me, I can pull out my wallet without them thinking I'm reaching for a gun.
  112. I don't even need to bring my wallet with me. If the police ask a question, they'll believe me.
  113. I can even pull out a silver money clip, or a silver cell phone without a cover and police won't think it's a gun.
  114. If I do have a gun, police will try to pursuade me to hand it over instead of thinking I'm a threat and shooting me.
  115. In my neighborhood, I need not worry about car theft, graffiti or vandalism.
  116. When walking in my neighborhood, people are friendly to me.
  117. When out walking, I can stand and admire a yard, house or car and not be suspected of casing it.
  118. I knew other privileged people who knew about The Landmark Forum and invited me, and I was able to easily afford it.
  119. I had the sort of mind that easily understood and mastered their lessons, so when problems arose, such as difficulties in marriage, I could take responsibility for them- I could choose what a situation meant to me instead of being at the effect of its meaning.
  120. I had the privilege of living 16 miles away from one their centers, so could easily attend seminars and courses.
  121. When depression arose (as it does for about 1/6th of us), I didn't have to think the ideas and view of life it gave me were true.
  122. When friends or siblings were in trouble, I had the Forum as a powerful resource to share.
  123. I had the privilege of being curious and not being indoctrinated by religion, so when another friend introduced me to understanding the truth about reality I could study and master it, also without indoctrination.
  124. When I was hired, I didn't have to deal with disrespectful attitudes. I didn't have to decide to teach people about people like me, or reset people's expectations about me, neither management's, coworkers', or customer expectations.
  125. In jobs, there were plenty of people who looked like me so there wasn't a pull to also spend time speaking in schools and mentoring young people.
  126. When I bought a house

Borrowed almost wholesale from others:

  1. I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race or sex.
  2. I can talk with my mouth full and people will overlook it, rather than attribute it to my color or saying it's "unladylike".
  3. I can swear or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.
  4. I can speak in public to a powerful male group and they'll listen respectfully, certainly without putting my race on trial.
  5. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race or sex.
  6. I am never asked to speak for all the people "like me", such as my racial group. If I try to speak for my race, sex, or religion, people listen respectfully.
  7. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
  8. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.
  9. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person who respects me.
  10. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of bias.
  11. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children'smagazines featuring people of my race.
  12. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.
  13. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.
  14. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.
  15. If I declare there is a racial or gender issue at hand, or there isn't such an issue at hand, my race will lend memore credibility for either position than a person of color or a woman would have.
  16. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them (or learn from them) and be more or less protected from negative consequences of my choices.
  17. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.
  18. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.
  19. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.
  20. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.
  21. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.
  22. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.
  23. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.
  24. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.
  25. I can choose a hotel, motel or resort without fearing that people like me cannot get in or will be mistreated.
  26. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.
  27. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.
  28. If I have low credibility as a leader I can be sure that my race is not the problem.
  29. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention to people of my race.
  30. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.
  31. I can choose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin.
  32. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us.
  33. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household.
  34. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.
  35. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.

  36. Question: How did I use my privilege in a way that could have harmed others?