| 3. Why You Feel Depressed | (Contents) | 5. Perspectives on Suicide |
Buddha said, "Life is suffering." When I read that, I think first about an inconvenience or a bad investment, or having to work when I was exhausted.
And then I recall worse- the pain I had in an accident, or when my back went out, or when I lost someone very close to me.
And then I recall even worse things that others have experienced- months of cancer and radiation and chemotherapy. Losing a child.
And then hopelessness. One person I know is forever abysmally lonely. Most days he can't get out of bed for hours, plagued by thoughts that suicide is the best option. He's a good person and just wants an attractive companion. The frustration often seems unbearable.
On the surface, suicide looks like an escape from the pain.
Recently, in an an article on mental health, I read:
...well-being depends on two things. One is the degree of control a person has over his or her emotions and expressing them. The other concerns how often we experience positive emotions...
Let's call this instead, 3 things.
The first thing we do when we feel deep negative emotions is try to let them go. We try to shake it off. Or breathe. Or throw a tantrum. Next, we flee, fight, or freeze. Next?
Next, we scream! Or tell a friend and try to "get it off our chest."
But sometimes it seems that no one understands us. Or too few people do. With some kinds of pain, we want the world to know!
This is where suicide can raise its ugly head. Someone once told me that suicide was the ultimate "Fuck you!" It sends a powerful message.
Harakiri, or seppuku, was the ritual suicide used by ancient Japanese warriors to avoid the shame (and possible torture) of being captured by an enemy. It was a way of saying, "Never!"
Suicide by lighting oneself on fire is still occasionally practiced by Buddhist monks to protest an injustice.
When one feels deep, inescapable emotional pain or frustration, it's natural to consider suicide.
The problem, though, is that suicide
The error
What this is about: In the view, life is bad, so the only
options are to suffer or consider ending it all.
Our feelings are caused mostly by our thoughts, and we tend to have thoughts consistent with our feelings.
The brain brings up thoughts of various options, but tends to only see options that are consistent with its depressed view. So we spend time seeing the hopelessness of life, and positive stuff is dismissed.
[tend to bring others down, reinforces our view.]
Hopelessness- nothing can get better, so the only way to end the suffering is to get out.
We keep looking for an escape, especially from the emotional (or physical) pain, and suicide seems like an escape.
The point is that it's normal to see life as a predicament, for our problems to seem huge and to look for an escape. But with our hopeless view, the only escape seems to be suicide.
Combine this with the things on the 1st section, of positive steps being hidden, and the view protecting its thoughts, and for a few people, ...
| 3. Why You Feel Depressed | (Contents) | 5. Perspectives on Suicide |