Lessen Your Stress

David Burns, one of the world's foremost experts in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the only kind of talk therapy that has been proven to be effective) created a 35-minute video of a technique for reducing stress. The video includes an example of someone lessening their stress about the 2024 election and America's future.

Note there's a Google-Doc of this for you to easily copy and edit.

Follow the 5 steps below to do Dr. Burns' exercise to manage your negative thoughts and feelings:

1. Identify and quantify your negative feelings. Delete any emotions below that don’t apply to you, and rate the intensity of each emotion on a scale of 0-100%.

   ___%: Angry
   ___%: Hopeless
   ___%: Anxious
   ___%: Frightened
   ___%: Worried
   ___%: Discouraged
   ___%: Frustrated
   ___%: Sad
   ___%: Down
   ___%: Embarrassed
   ___%: Wrong
   ___%: Guilty
   ___%: Inferior
   ___%: Jealous
   ___%: Mistrustful/Suspicious
   ___%: Overwhelmed
   ___%: Exhausted
   ___%: Tired
   ___%: Vulnerable

2. Write down your specific negative thoughts related to your disappointment (e.g., "The country is doomed," "I might have to move")
3. Practice positive reframing: Write down positive or virtuous qualities about yourself that are revealed by your negative thoughts and feelings. For instance, that you are patriotic, care for people, or care for the environment.
4. Use the "magic dial" technique:
   For each negative emotion: How much of it do you want to keep?
   (e.g., “10%: anxiety”, when it was 70% in #1 above.)
5. Apply the externalization of voices technique: (This can also be done in a conversation with a buddy, like in the video.)
   For each negative thought, write a response using one of three strategies.
   1. Acceptance Paradox: Find some truth in the thought in a way where it's just factually true, not exaggerated, horrible, or implying something about the future.
   2. Self-defense: Argue that the thought is distorted or illogical.
   3. Counter-attack: Point out what's false in the negative thought.

Give yourself permission to feel down. It's natural to have negative feelings after a disappointment. An emotion is an emotion, not “the truth.” Negative emotions give rise to negative thoughts. Because strong emotions accompany them, the thoughts often feel true and certain, even though they are not. They are almost always exaggerated to the point of being false. They might even be telling you to do things that you know are bad, even illegal. Feel and respect your feelings while not taking your thoughts seriously.

Let yourself grieve or mope for a while. It’s good to feel an emotion deeply and quickly and express it fully, safely, and privately. Perhaps ask a close friend to listen to you rant for a moment so you can get it out. You can even express it safely, perhaps in a strenuous exercise or dance, take the emotion for a run, or throw a (safe and non-destructive) tantrum for a minute or two.

Be safe and well. Process your feelings safely while letting whatever happened be simply a brief upset in the process of creating a wonderful world.

LINKS:
Burns' 35-minute video
This web page.
A Google-Doc of this you can copy and edit.